Caring for your aged loved ones is tough, You don’t have to do it alone. You are exhausted, you are doing it all by yourself. Running around running yourself into the ground. Have you have thought that you Don’t have to do this alone but you don’t know where to turn for help?
Does that sound familiar?
2020 has been challenging in so many ways.
You are doing an amazing job. Thank you for all you do.
I see you and I hear you.
Do you ever feel that you are about to crumble under all the pressure. That’s ok because you have been doing a mountain of work to make sure everyone is ok.
I want to share a situation with you that was nearly my undoing – that caused so much heartache some from which I haven’t recovered.
When I was caring for Dad I thought I had to do it all by myself.
I thought it was my responsibility.
I thought I didn’t want to burden others with my problems.
And I thought wrong!
I was so busy trying to do everything that I pushed people away.
I was so caught up in doing it all that I didn’t pay attention to what was happening around me.
I wasn’t present – I’d be with Dad but be thinking about home, I’d be at home and be thinking about work and when I was at work I was thinking about Dad and so it went on. In my book Tough…Tough Times…Tough Decisions I share my caring journey with Dad, the good, the bad and the ugly.
Everyone felt I wasn’t there for them – well to be honest I wasn’t. I was doing stuff but I wasn’t really there and they felt it.
I didn’t let people help.
I didn’t ask for help. To be honest I didn’t know I needed help. I just thought this was my lot in life and I had to do it. I didn’t know any different.
But it was worse than that when my loved ones offered help I didn’t let them.
I pushed people away and some didn’t come back.
Our family and friends see how hard we are working and they want to help but if you keep saying no they will stop offering to help.
You don’t have to do it all.
You can let people help.
You can have time for yourself.
My dear friends please take a moment to breathe and think about how you can include your loved ones in your caring journey. Breathing exercises are a great way to relax.
I just want to add something else into the mix – Do you think your aged loved ones want to be a burden to you? They see how much you do, they see you pushing others away and not getting help. They don’t want you to give up so much for them.
Think about your kids – what would you tell them if they were caring for you.
I want you to treat yourself as you would treat others. Wouldn’t you want to help others in the same situation? Wouldn’t you want to be there to support your friends and family?
I was once told that the greatest gift you can give someone is letting them be of service to you and letting someone help you.
You don’t have to do this alone.