Some of the things I do to build my resilience are:
Meditation
Gym
Socialising
Essential Oils
Affirmations
Talking with friends
Seeing a professional counsellor
It is really important to find your happiness and make sure you spend part of each and every day enjoying yourself.
It is tough caring for an aged loved one and when you throw into the mix a teenager not to mention a 50+ husband and work responsibilities it becomes a very interesting time.
Build resilience to keep you afloat when the challenges happen, don’t ever forget that sometimes there are too many challenges and that it doesn’t matter how much resilience you have you just have to take a break before it breaks you.
I found this to be the case and I had a meltdown. I stopped doing everything except one or two things and I got better. I took time off work and took a huge step back from everything I was cramming into my day. It was amazing that I kept going for as long as I did.
Your body has a way of making you stop and take a break – it’s called getting sick. And sick I did get. Nothing major just a bad flu that had me laid up for about a month with a horrible cough and no energy. It was perfect – no I mean that in all honesty and seriousness – it was perfect for my life at the time. I so needed a rest and to look after myself to get back on track and put things into perspective. I had a lot of things going on at the time – I won’t go into them now as they are detailed in our book “Tough…Tough Times… Tough Decisions “. It was a difficult two month period where many things happened to my loved ones and myself – heart attacks, hospitalisation, diagnoses of eye condition and I got sick.
It was time to reassess what is important and build some more resilience.
If I wasn’t so resilient I would never have got through those two months. I did and I’m here to help you with your challenges. We all have them – so really big ones but it’s the small ones that mount up that really do us in. Never underestimate how you feel about a challenge. Remember the old saying – the straw that broke the camel’s back – well it is true. I had gotten through all the big stuff – husband having a heart attack, child being diagnosed with an eye condition and lots more but the thing – the small thing that in comparison to everything else that was going on meant nothing to me was the one thing that sent me over the edge. It was an issue at work – normally it wouldn’t have bothered me but this time it did and well it got so bad I couldn’t go to work – that I stood in my kitchen dressed and ready to go to work but I couldn’t do it, all I could do was cry.
I took the day off work and called my work’s employee assistance program (there are lots of other people that can help – Lifeline, Beyond blue). It was the best decision I ever made.
I talked and talked and the counsellor listened – it was great having somebody I didn’t know listen to me. I am truly blessed by wonderful family and friends but it is difficult telling them how I feel when I am overwhelmed. I always think I have to do it all – everyone is used to me being the “organiser” and I didn’t want to let anyone down. Speaking with a person that doesn’t know me was so helpful and it was easier to unburden my weary heart.
We spoke several times and his advice was very helpful. First thing he said was to take four weeks of work and get well. To do nothing, just get well. Sit on the couch and cry if I have to – just get well.
I did and I found that just being alone was a great comfort. I still did things for the family – not many though. I still visited Dad but not everyday. I still did things but I found more and more I did things for myself. I had my hair done, I had my nails done each week. I cleaned out the spare room and made a space for me. Decluttering is a great way to move forward.
There are many ways to build your resilience and it really is a personal journey I just want to remind you to do it. To recognise when you need to take a break and step back from all your responsibilities and look after yourself.
You are the star of this production and you need star treatment.
