What does caring look like to YOU? This week we were asked about our timeline of caring…. Why do I say that we were on our caring journey for 4 years when Dad only moved to Canberra (my location) for 6 months?
This is a very important point in the caring journey that we speak about all the time.
‘Whether you care for your aged loved one in your home, their home or an aged care facility, whether it is long distance or in the same location caring takes on all shapes and sizes.
As mentioned throughout our book and during our talks, Marilyn was the main carer for Dad while he was at Tweed Heads and did the lion share of the work however both Yvonne and I had caring roles too.
The three of us cared for Dad whether it was the daily phone calls, regular visits or the joint decisions we made with and for Dad plus the many phone calls we shared with Marilyn discussing things or just listening to her.
Actually our caring journey started when Mum passed away in 2006 when we all worked together to make sure Dad was cared for.
Siblings caring and sharing comes in all forms and for us we decided early on during our caring journey that we each had roles that was dictated by our location. This is one of the biggest issues other carers talk to us about all the time and I am so glad I was asked about it – you see as carers it is hard to know what role you have in the caring journey and it is really important to work it out early on and review it often. It is one of the biggest bits of advice we give to people.
Each and every one of us wants to do the right thing for our loved ones and sometimes the hardest thing to do is to take a back seat and let others take on the major roles. Understanding the roles each siblings have is so very important and I am very thankful that we were able to work out “our roles” early on.
Yes it was tough on Marilyn and to be honest this is one of the main reasons Yvonne and I wrote our book and do all we can to help others. We saw how much Marilyn did for Dad and how it affected her life especially what she did for others. Working full time, caring for her family and caring for Dad – The Sandwich Generation.
We do what we do as a legacy to Marilyn
She inspired us to help as many people as we can. We want to help ease the transition to aged care for other families by sharing our experiences and the tips we learnt along the way.
What does caring look like to you?
Are you a long distance carer?
Are you the main carer?
Do you have a supporting role?
Do you know what your role is?
Take the time to work out the tough questions early on and it will make things easier for everyone.
