This week I commented on a Facebook post – it was about family visiting and should boundaries be set. For me it was definitely a case of ‘you never know what you’ve got until it’s gone”. You see the other day for no reason what so ever I really missed our Mum.
It’s been nine years since she passed and whilst she is always in my heart
I think of her often, it was different. No it wasn’t her birthday or even the anniversary of her passing. I just missed her.
So it was quite interesting to read the comments people were making about family visiting. I must admit I used to feel the same not so much about Mum or Dad but other people that have gone from our lives.
Do I have to visit?
Why are they ringing?
What do they want now?
What excuse can I use?
Now it is totally different, you see in 2012 our darling sister, Marilyn, passed unexpectedly. Out of the blue, with no warning. Now I wish I had one more phone call, one more visit.
Life is a funny thing – You never know what you’ve got until it’s gone.
Take a moment to enjoy the people in your life before they become memories.
Today I am feeling very melancholy – lots has happened to our family over the past nine years. My life has changed so many much – for good and bad.
There is no point in looking back and saying “what if” or “I should have”, it serves no purpose and only messes with your head. Don’t get me wrong it is ok to look back and see how far you have come, or to learn from the past but just don’t beat yourself up.
Of course there are things I would have done differently, for starters I am such a different person now and I feel differently about things. I have learnt so much about myself since my caring journey started.
I strongly believe everything happens for a reason and sometimes that reason isn’t evident.
One of the things I have learnt is to be kind especially to myself. I did the best I could and even if it wasn’t perfect it was as perfect as I could be at the time. Yes I have learned and yes the lessons did cost me but when all is said and done my life is very blessed and I am grateful for the wonderful experiences.
I’ve gone a bit off topic but I wanted to remind you that whilst we are all doing the best we can just take the time to spend some time with your loved ones. You just never know when it could be the last time you get to talk to them.
So enjoy the holidays, put up with the late night calls, visit often and be present.
Trust me you will miss these times and it is great to have wonderful and not so wonderful memories to look back on.
You Matter to Us!
